Direct mail letters are the primary tools to raise special gifts throughout the year.  Direct mail response is getting more difficult for most ministries, because of the increasing competition for the donation dollar.  In addition, it makes it even more difficult for a small or medium size ministry to carry out effective direct mail campaigns.  The large organizations have professional writers and designers, and sometimes hire the top consultants.  So be diligent in becoming a better writer, or team up with a good writer who can work alongside you.

Here are two key points in writing effective direct mail letters:

1. Write to "one person."  In fact, picture someone you know as you write.  This letter will be read by one person at a time, not as a group of constituents.  I like to begin with the first words, "Dear Joe..." when I am writing my first draft.  It helps me focus on being personal.
   
   
2. Be "you-focused."  There is a tendency for us to start telling our story right away, making a case for our ministry.  Unless it's a dramatic story, which probably is focused on someone else anyway, you'll lose your audience.  The reader won't get past the first paragraph.
   

The purpose of being "you-focused" is to put yourself in the reader's shoes.  What do you think would be important to him?  The things we perceive as important to us may not even touch off a spark for him.

The reader needs to be included in the first paragraph, even in the first sentence if possible.  That draws him into the letter.  This principle should be carried out throughout the letter, too, to keep him involved.  My rule is to use the word "you" in the first sentence.  Look at these contrasting opening sentences:

"Last week, we served 1,000 meals at the soup kitchen..." vs. "You would have been amazed at the hundreds of people who stood in line for a meal last week..."

"Over 5,000 people went to bed hungry in our city last night..." vs. "Have you or your children ever gone to bed hungry?  Do you know that feeling?"

Pull the reader in right away!  I'd like you to take a few minutes now and write out three different you-focused openers that you can use in your next direct mail letter.  As far as the theme or the purpose of the letter, this will be to raise special gifts for general operations.  If you had something else in the plans already, then go ahead and pursue that theme.   When you're done, choose the best one and you're on your way.  See, I've pulled you in, because this is no longer a lesson in writing; it's a workshop in your next direct mail letter.  Now it means something to you.

Excerpted from the chapter “Effective Writing and Design” in The Complete System for Ministry Fundraising & Development, by Jon Fugler and Ron Johnston.  This System covers over a dozen areas of fundraising in detail, helping ministries accomplish their mission for the Kingdom.